We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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