having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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