I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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