Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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