I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My breasts were aching with rage.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize