Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
