too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize