K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
