Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
