Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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