the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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