so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
