I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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