dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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