is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I had to cum in my sink.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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