We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize