Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
