I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
