Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
