A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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