thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
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I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
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But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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