Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
