you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
