can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
