that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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