Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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