Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
ttyl tear gas
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
