You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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