Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
