OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
