Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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