handjob tips. give me some.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i think im in europe. pls send help
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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