remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
