After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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