Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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