yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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