He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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