My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
