if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
