Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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