The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
