I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
