Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
