Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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