How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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