forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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