The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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