her vagine was all disorganized.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
