We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize