i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
