but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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