I wish my penis had an off switch
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
