If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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