I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
