Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
