I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
