hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I deserve this hangover.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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