He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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