i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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