how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
