we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
