Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
