Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
