How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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