ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
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Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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